More than all other factors combined, the way you see yourself determines the way you see and are seen by others, and it shapes everything you say and do. It shows up in the way you dress, walk, talk, sit, laugh and what you do with your eyes and hands – all the things people watch while they are deciding whether or not to believe you.

Yet many salespeople have very low self-esteem and almost no self-confidence. You can spot it by their reluctance to look you in the eye, their unkempt appearance, their timid voices, and their ill-at-ease gestures. Sometimes, on the other hand, low self-esteem is reflected in a person’s flamboyance, loud voice or boisterous laughter and transparent ego. Of course, those are some of the very same symptoms people look for when they are sizing up the credibility of what you say.

I don’t want to play amateur psychologist and tell you whether or why you have such low self-esteem, and we don’t have space here to tell you precisely how you can build a solid self-image. However, I do want to highlight two hazards of the selling profession that often create tremendous self-image problems.

Cognitive dissonance: Don’t let that term scare you. It’s simply a way of saying that you feel you are called upon to act in a way that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.

For example, maybe you’ve been trained to treat prospects in ways you feel are manipulative, abusive, or even unethical. Or, to keep your job, you may be required to stretch the truth, push certain products, hide key facts, or cover up for poor quality or service. As a result, you may find yourself lying to prospects because you think it will help you close a sale. All of this poses a problem because you see yourself as an honest person who respects other people, and that’s quite different from the way you feel compelled to act.

I don’t want to give you a lot of advice about how to solve the dilemma. Socrates gave a lot of advice, and they killed him!

Let me simply share with you how I’ve handled it. I decided a long time ago that I would not work for anybody who required me to violate my personal value system in order to sell their products or services. My own peace of mind and my credibility with my customers means too much for me to destroy them over the few bucks I might make through high-pressure tactics or unethical practices.

Besides, I learned very early in the selling game that if I could not believe in the people I was working for, I surely couldn’t convince anyone else to do business with them. This doesn’t mean you and your organization have to live up to all the expectations of every customer you serve. Some people simply cannot be satisfied, and others consider anything that has to do with selling to be manipulative. What it does mean is that you have to operate in a way consistent with your own self-image to have any hope of making others believe in you.
 

Fear or rejection: Get enough doors slammed in your face and you can begin to feel pretty rotten about yourself.

Fear of rejection can cause you to develop a great reluctance about making sales calls; it can also make you timid about asking for an order and make you so depressed that you waste your most valuable selling time worrying about personal matters. There are two keys to overcoming fear of rejection:

First, recognize that rejection is not personal…it’s part of sales!

Remember, people buy for their reasons, not yours or mine. The opposite is also true: People refuse to buy for their own reasons. They may like you, respect, you, and generally feel very positive about all their dealings with you, but they may refuse your business proposal for their own personal reasons. But it does take some work to move from intellectually accepting this idea to incorporating it into your emotional value system.

The second and most powerful way to overcome fear of rejection is to believe so strongly in what you are doing that you will not be deterred.

A major part of our identity as human beings comes from our usefulness – from our performance of worthwhile work. It is one of the most vital ways we express our uniqueness, our individuality, our personality. Thus, a big part of believing in yourself is believing in what you do all day.

Each year, I travel around the world conducting from 150 to 200 seminars, giving speeches, and consulting with businesses. It’s an exhausting schedule, but I love it. Why? It’s because I believe so strongly in what I’m doing that I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.

When people reject my business proposals I just move on to the next prospect, knowing that what I have to offer is truly worthwhile. You owe it to yourself, your customers, and everyone in your life to believe so strongly in what you are doing that you will not be deterred, either!

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©2000 Bill Brooks, The Brooks Group, Greensboro, NC. All Rights Reserved.

For almost two decades Bill Brooks has been one of America’s most in-demand sales speakers. Bill has successfully accomplished what other sales speakers merely talk about. He enjoys real-world, legitimate sales success, executive experience, in-depth topic expertise, academic preparation, as well as the highest speaking and consulting accreditations. Bill has been a sales executive and marketing manager, an international sales award winner, CEO of a 300 million dollar corporation and successful college football coach with a 70% winning record. Bill is author of over 100 video and 200 audio programs, and 9 books. For more information about Bill Brooks’ speaking, training and consulting services; or learning tools, call 800-633-7762 or e-mail sales@brooksgroup.com or visit his website at www.brooksgroup.com.